This Is WAR
by TheAmazingFireshadow
Summary: Random post-reveal one-shot. Set a year or two in the future (think senior year or so), Adrien and Marinette are dating. They are in the midst of a pick up line war. Yeah...I got bored. Sorry it's kind of crappy. Rated T for suggestive language.


**Adrien:**

It had been one year, three months, and seventeen days since Marinette and I revealed our identities to each other after defeating Hawk Moth - I mean, my father. We had started dating a few weeks later, and after getting over the original awkwardness, it got fun. True to my alter-ego form, I flirted and punned with Marinette. She enjoyed it at first, I think, but instead of telling me to stop, she retaliated. And that's how the pick up line war began.

-Previously-

I walked up to Marinette and kissed her on the cheek for the sole purpose of making her lose her mind and start fumbling over her words again. But I suppose she sort of adjusted to the fact that we were dating and didn't blush as usual, so I tried a different approach.

"Hey, Marinette. Are you French? Because Eiffel for you." I shot her a cocky grin and waited for her response, but she only smirked.

"No, but you must be Jamaican, 'cause Jamaican me crazy." Now it was my turn to blush. I was totally unprepared for that. And it didn't end there, either. It lasted the rest of the day, and the next day, and the next, and the next, and - well, you get the idea.

I whistled at Marinette as she walked down the hall to her locker. "Someone call the cops! It's got to be illegal to look that good."

She turned around and raised an eyebrow at me, flouncing up to where I was standing. She more than invaded my personal space, leaving no more than an inch or two between us. "Are you a cat? Because I'm feline a connection between us."

"I'm declaring an all-out war!" I announced.

"Fine by me." Marinette said plainly and walked away.

The next day, she came with a load of ammo. I started with a lame one. "If you were a library book, I'd check you out."

"Oh, really?" She glanced down and pretended to notice something. "Hey, your shoes are untied! Better fix that. I wouldn't want you falling for anyone else."

"Even if there was no gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you."

Marinette furrowed her brow for a minute before her eyes lit up again. "Did it hurt?" She crossed her arms.

I rolled my eyes at her. "When I fell from heaven?" I asked.

"No… when you fell for me." She winked at me as the blood rose to my cheeks again. She was good.

"Hey, that looks heavy. Want me to hold it for you?" I pointed to her hand.

"That's my hand…" Marinette said slowly. Then it dawned on her. "Oh… sure." She coughed.

"Hey, are you okay?"

She smiled sweetly at me. "Yeah. I went to the doctor yesterday." She began.

"And…?"

"He said I'm in need of some Vitamin U."

"If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you."

We ended it there that day, but the next day, they got better, and people from around the school heard about it and crowded the halls, waiting for one of us to strike. I was prepared that day. "There are twenty letters in the alphabet, right?" I asked Marinette.

"No...twenty-six."

"Oh, right. I forgot U-R-A-Q-T."

She grinned, then counted out what I said on her fingers. "But...that's only twenty-five."

"Don't worry. You'll get the 'D' later." Her smile broadened and she giggled, music to my ears.

"Do you like sales? If you're looking for one, clothes are 100% off at my place right now." I heard some snickers from various students in the hallway near us. They were in close enough proximity to hear our conversation. Nowadays, we pretty much spoke in fluent pick up lines.

"Feel my shirt. It's made of boyfriend material." I said. She did.

"I was feeling a little off today, but I ran into you and you turned me on."

"I think we'd look cute on a wedding cake together, don't you?"

"There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off you."

"On a scale from one to ten, you'd be a nine. I'm the one you're looking for."

And it went on like that for the rest of the day. By the end of the week, Alya was posting the best video clips and lines we used every day on the school blog, excluding the dirtier ones.

**Marinette:**

To be honest, I have no idea how this whole thing started, but I'm kind of glad it did. My mom thinks it's distracting me from getting my school work done because I spend hours each night looking up pick up lines to use and memorizing them, but it's fine. Having Adrien as a boyfriend is a lot more fun than I think either of us was prepared for. Let me just fill you in on the kind of lines we've been using lately.

Adrien came up to me while I was packing my bag and whispered in my ear, "If you were a steak, you'd be well done." I almost dropped my physics textbook on my foot.

I was prepared for a battle, though. "Hey…" I traced my finger in figure eights on his chest. "I'm afraid of the dark. Will you sleep with me tonight?"

"Yeah. I love my bed, but I'd rather be in yours."

"Good! 'Cause you were on my list of things to do tonight."

"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on the table and do you all night long."

I smiled. We were getting dirty, huh? Okay. "Do you sleep on your stomach?" I asked innocently.

"Not usually."

"Oh. Well, can I?"

"Of course. Do you want to save the environment?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Good. Then let's shower together to conserve water."

I laughed at that. "If I said you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?"

"Do you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you always look magically delicious."

"You look like my first husband."

"Oh, really? What's his name?"

"I don't know, what's yours?"

"Ha, ha. Very funny. They say kissing is the language of love. Would you like to have a conversation?"

Yeah. That lasted for a while. It's still going on more than a year later, but somehow, we haven't run out of pick up lines. Oh, boy. Adrien's coming this way. I gotta go, but wish me luck. Bug out!


End file.
